Equus Asinus

When the Peasant gave us our breakfast this morning he said, «Happy Boxing Day, donks!»  We were a bit puzzled by this, and Morris didn’t have time to look it up on the Interweb thingy because he was too busy eating his breakfast.  However, all was explained later.  Boxing Day is the day when you unpack the boxes full of Christmas gifts returned by the post office because they couldn’t be arsed to send them.  So it should be called Unboxing Day shouldn’t it?  Or just Boxes Day.

The Peasant was today seen unpacking the Christmas box sent to his daughter on November 29th and rejected for containing «dangerous goods» on November 30th, which then sat in Finestrat post office for three weeks without anyone bothering to contact the Peasant and tell him his daughter would be without her Christmas goodies.  The Peasant is sending photos of the contents, so Alys can see what she would have had if the post office had done what they were paid 45 Euros to do!  Then she can have a late Christmas when she comes out at Easter and enjoy the goodies, most of which can stay in the box till then.

Our Boxes Day competition is to identify the «dangerous goods».  Can you spot the most dangerous Christmas goodies and explain why?

In these days of mad people blowing everyone up, we obviously have to be careful.  But security is getting extreme.  When the Peasant retrieved his box from the post office on Saturday, it had been sitting there next to the post office counter clerk for three weeks.  So – by their own logic – everyone in Finestrat had been put in danger!

The Peasant took the box to MRW couriers in Benidorm last Saturday, after it had been sitting in the post office for three weeks.  MRW couldn’t guarantee it would get through.  «This year, customs are sending back many more packages than ever before due to heightened security.  At least we tell customers straight away if a parcel has been returned.  It is quite unprofessional for the post office to simply leave your parcel on the floor of the office for three weeks without telling you.»

Well, that was the dangerous parcel fiasco.  As the Peasant fumed, while sweeping the field on Christmas Eve, «If they had the decency to tell me customs was rejecting everything, I would have just done something else and not sent a bloody parcel.»

Then the Peasant got a cold for Christmas so we did not have to put on Santa hats yesterday as he di not have the energy to round us all up, marshal us in position, put on the Santa hats and take photographs.  We were all pleased to escape this annual annoyance and we thought we had got away with it now Christmas was past.  However, this Boxes Day morning, the Peasant caught Matilde unawares by the drinking fountain and managed to get a Santa hat on her.  She ran down to level 2 to warn Morris and I.  Aitana was staring at chickens on level 1 and didn’t get the warning, so the Peasant crept up behind her and hatted her.  Silly horse!

By the time the Peasant arrived at the manger on level 2 with two more Santa hats, we were already forewarned and determined to be uncooperative.  I kept my head under the manger and Morris squashed the Peasant against a post as he ran off grunting in protest.

So, the score is now 6-1.  No Santa hat on me this year!  Happy Boxes Day.  And if you spot the dangerous goods, please enter the competition.