Equus Asinus

I had a non-news day today.

Laetare Sunday, the 4th Sunday in Lent is traditionally «Take a break Sunday!» when people following some kind of Lent discipline would have a relaxation of the rules: maybe a nice lunch with a bottle of wine. In some traditions the priest wears rose-coloured vestments at Mass instead of the Lent purple.

So today I thought, why not take a break from the news? I think we all deserve it and should structure a regular non-news day into our confinement. It is pretty distressing and I wonder about the effect on children: e.g the awful news footage from Italy I saw on Sky News last night. In family homes where everyone is watching these distressing images while waiting for the virus to strike our area, the stress on children should be considered. Turn it off. I decided to do something nice today. And having geared myself up for a nice day, Morris ruined it all immediately by trampling the Spanish flag in the mud.

The flag can be salvaged but I am quite annoyed with Morris for his lack of patriotism. In tomorrow’s blog I will explain the method for cleaning the Spanish flag with soapy liquid for «prendas delicadas», and this flag is certainly delicate, having been trampled by a donkey.

I decided to plant seedlings in my garden (mange-tout / cometodo), groom the donkeys, who had been mud-rolling after a rain shower, and then cook a Scandalous Paella.

Today 22 March was Laetare Sunday, the day I had planned for a paella here at El Parral with friends: Spanish, Dutch, German, English… and Yorkshire. But of course the Estado de Alarma meant this was not possible. So I cooked a Scandalous Paella today – travesty of a typical arroz Valenciano. As I lacked the proper ingredients for paella, I made it with the wrong ingredients, e.g. a packet of Blakemans pork sausages – from Super Eco in Finestrat village (look in the freezer, next to the English style frozen white sliced bread), battered cod, bacon, Worcester sauce, etc. Why do I call it a «scandalous paella»? It will scandalize my Spanish friends and prove once again that you cannot trust the piratas ingléses.

«¿Paella inglesa? No es bastante para los piratas ingléses que ruinan nuestra economia con su maldito puta madre Brexit, pero ahora estan ruinando la paella valenciana. ¡Joder!

Did I say my Spanish friends? Next year I will be able to say, «my fellow Spaniards!» ¡Olé! Unless the whole citizenship project is jeopardised after the disgraceful act by Morris donkey tearing down and trampling the Spanish flag in the mud (see video), an anti-patriotic act of such sacrilege that it may count against me – and that would be a shame – after all the work sitting language and citizenship exams… then Morris donkey comes along and rips the flag down and I look like an unsuitable person to swear allegiance to King Felipe VI.

Donkeys! Who would have them? Oh yes, me…

#StayAtHome #QuedateEnCasa