Equus Asinus

Hello, I’m Rubí and this is my Rubí Tuesday blogue, because I writs it on Tuesdays mostly. Readers comes here for the Rubí Tuesday blogue, and rarely comes here for the Peasant’s philosopherisings, nor does they come here in any great numbers for the much-trumpeted PSHE resources, as any fool can see, looking at the stats. I mostly does eating but on Tuesdays I does writting.

Morris donkey has been appointed blogue administrator. The Peasant said that since the old Acer notebook pooter he used for ten years in school couldn’t run slower if you soaked it in treacle overnight, he would give it to Morris, who now has it rigged up in the stable with a plug-in wi-fi signal booster. Aitana has already complained about that, saying the signal will give us all headaches and, in any case, where will she plug in her hair drier? Silly horse.

According to Morris it is a curious fact of the blogue stats that more people in Australia have looked at the Peasant’s page of lock-down grocery and bakery opening times in the villages of Finestrat, Orxeta and Sella, than teachers in Spain or UK have looked at his painstakingly produced PSHE resources. It would be interesting if residents of Finestrat might report how many Australians they have seen in the queue to go one-at-a-time into the Super Eco grocery store. Who knows, maybe Super Eco has the last stocks of barbecue charcoal and fire lighters left in the world? Or were the Australians really looking for the PSHE resources? We will prolly never know and most readers will not care, as they just comes here for the Tuesday Rubí blogue.

So my big question this Tuesday is where has we got to with the Great Pandemoniums? Here in Spain – with the relaxied pandemoniums, people can now go for a bike ride, a walk, a swim or fly a kite, but only one kilometre from their house. If for example, their kite went more than one kilometre up in the sky, this could cause catastrophic prombles, as the norty rood virus is lurking if you go more than one kilometre away. And it will get on the kite, and when the owner of the kite reels it in, it will be covered in the norty rood virus and everyone will die.

That’s why it is important everyone follows the rools. Not because the government wants to stop you flying kites, or having fun, but because the rools make sense. And in future everyone is going to have to get used to their kite flying being closely watched by the police. Maybe it will be good to have an App on your phone so all your kites movements get monitored by the app, and if the police want to see if your kite went more than a kilometre, you can show them the App and they can reduce your on-the-spot fine because you are a responsible kite flyer observing propper kite distance.

And that’s not a police state but a health crisis, so just get to understand the difference please and learn to like the rools. Now we can hear the traffic moving on the distant main road. Life is slowly getting back to normal, and they are relaxing the pandemoniums. Matilde is dust rolling, Aitana is staring at the chickens, and Morris says there’s no point in having a computer without a valid credit card. He starts braying at the Peasant.

“Ah, so it’s time for your supper, is it Morris?” says the Peasant.

Morris bites the Peasant. The Peasant smacks Morris on the nose. The Peasant goes off in a sulk to fetch our supper, wondering what’s the matter with that norty Morris. The last thing the Peasant will think of is Morris bit him because he hasn’t got a credit card. I suppose everyone is finding this lock down a bit of a strain…