Latest on the Military Coup in Benidorm

You will probably all have seen it on the news already, but I’d just like to fill readers in on what it feels like to be on the ground when a fascist coup happens locally. It’s not everyday you see tanks on the streets of Benidorm and the few remaining Brits being rounded up, still carrying their pints of Guinness.

The tanks rolled in at midnight on Wednesday March 31st and all the beach loungers were commandered by Spanish Special Forces wearing FFP95 clinical masks to avoid the alcohol fumes rising from pubs in the British end of the town.

The traditional English breakfast has been banned due to the new regime’s rejection of all outside cultural influences, and a strict pro-EU continental breakfast has been imposed on the few tourists remaining here.

Spceial Forces Colonel explains in the Military Radio broadcast that Guinness is not allowed.
Only Estrella Levante beer will now be served.

It’s a fast moving situation and I understand that a resistance force is now battling its way through to Benidorm from Valencia with Podemos supporters and vegetarians in a commandered bus. I will update readers tomorrow unless the internet has been cut off. Tomorrow is April 2nd.

Update April 2nd 2021

This was of course an April Fool. Apologies to readers who were horrified and confused. One person who was not horrified and confused was my friend Barbara Reed in France, who messaged me to say, “Seen better April Fools than that 😦 ”

(…which is why she doesn’t get Christmas cards from me.)