Of Mice and Peasants

Rubí writs her Tuesday blog.

The Peasant has suspendied his Walking Out of the World becuse the only audience seemed to be the odd confused reader in the Philipinnes or Tierra del Fuego who accidentally stumblied into his blogue and stumblied out again without commenting.

My theory is there’s millions of peoples with such poor keyboard skills that they might as well be typin with hooves. Thanks to them the Peasant thought he had a large number of followers on his blogue. When nobody commented nor liked his posts, it was becuse they was looking for a take away pizza not a trampin piggrim.

Well, that’s exactly the only audience I am used to attractin, so Good Mornin and Welcome! I don’t mind if I don’t get any likes nor comments becuse my blogue always gets thoroughly perused. Which doesn’t mean I has lots of readers in Peru, lookin for a donkey blogue instead of a take away pizza. It gets perused by Morris, Matilde and Aitana.

You might ask, in that case, why writ a blogue, Rubí? Why not just talk to your fellow donkeys?

That’s a fair point, but you would be under-estimatin my commitment to confusin the Internet users of Peru, just for the hell of it. In any case, the fact I has writtied a clever blogue is always a stimulus for the other donkeys to engage in discussion, debate and in most cases general disbelief and astonishment. Which provides a break for all of us from the odd tedious remark about the quality of today’s straw.

In case you are wondrin if the Peasant is bored while he is not walkin out of the world any more, he is very busy havin turned all the furniture upside-down in his Peasant house, tryin to find the mouse that has kept him awake all night makin scrapin and munchin noises. The air is thick with taunts and swearins: “Where are you, you little bastard!” and similar enquiries. And of course, the Peasant is writtin his series “Postcards from the Camino” for WherePeteris.com whose readers are not in Tierra del Fuego looking for a take away pizza, but peoples who read the blogues and comment on them with appreciation.

Matilde donk has now arrived to read my first draft. “What rubbish have you written for us today?” she asks.

“Looks like the usual drivel,” says Aitana.

Silly horse! But I spose that’s the kind of engaged audience the Peasant was rather hopin for. Well, never mind: at least now he’s got a mouse to engage with him.

Editor’s Postscript 14 April 2021

Blog stats: China 4. Mexico 4, UK 1, Spain 1, Poland 1.

Likes: 0.

Conclusion: Thanks for trying, Rubí, but we don’t appear to have any readers who like the blog, not even in China…