A great deal of information is available on the Internet on the subject of donkey care, but my Rubí Tuesday blog today is about the less well-known topic of caring for your peasant.
Our particular peasant was recently sacked from his part-time teaching job, so he is now a full-time peasant and spends more time on the donkey field. This has meant we had to give more attention to peasant welfare and think about the ways in which we can ensure we have a happy and healthy peasant who will be a faithful companion for years to come.
The following handy peasant-care and welfare tips may be useful for those of you who keep a peasant or would simply like to explore this as a new subject for coffee mornings or after-dinner conversation.
Peasant care and welfare tips
- Always make sure your peasant has plenty of space on the field to do all his sweeping up. It is very important for a full-time peasant to get daily exercise, going around with a rake, shovel and broom to sweep up donkey manure. Do not poo in one place but spread your ordure over a wide area. This means your peasant must expend more energy going around sweeping it up. Also this takes more time, so he does not become bored and morose.
A peasant kept in a confined space will become obese and irritable. This may eventually lead to psychological problems and tunnelling behaviours. The Peasant Sanctuary recommends a space no smaller than 50 x 50 metres.
- Peasants should be given a simple diet of home-grown fruit and vegetables and cheap beer. As long as the peasant is kept busy growing his beans and lemons, he will have less time to organise visits from the vet and the farrier who come to annoy us. The beer should be of the cheapest kind available, so as not to compete with the monthly cost of food deliveries for donkeys.
You may find your peasant will sometimes respond well to being sent into the village to drink beer with his drinking companion. This only works if you send your peasant at the right time: after he has delivered your evening feed. Otherwise delays might ensue.
On this subject, it is worth pointing out that bar tapas are a useful source of nourishment for your peasant, but only the free tapas that come with beer, otherwise this may add significantly to your monthly peasant food costs.
- Do not chew your peasant’s gloves. It is always tempting to pick up the things your peasant leaves behind on the field and chew them (broom handles, wellington boots, phones, etc.) But this can result in your peasant becoming stressed and using bad language.
- How do you stop your peasant organising visits from vets and farriers? This is a perennial question for donkeys. The best solution is to create an enormous fuss whenever they arrive. Run around the field and refuse to be caught. When you are caught, break the ropes, kick the visitor and refuse to have your hooves picked up.This results in great difficulties for the peasant in organising future appointments.
I hope you have found these peasant care tips useful and if you have any further questions we would be happy to answer them. We would also like to give thanks to the folks at the Peasant Sanctuary and its Spanish house, El Refugio del Paisano whose peasant behavioural expert, and part-time Assistant Principal at a failing secondary school, Pablo Pedalo has been a great help to us in putting these brief notes together.