I am a donkey. I live with my donkey son Morris and my donkey friend Matilde (who has a daughter Aitana who is a bit of a silly horse) on a donkey farm called El Parral in the mountains near Benidorm, the capital of Spain. We have a Peasant who looks after us: he brings our food, sweeps up, does odd jobs, and helps put on our Santa hats for the annual Christmas photo (as we can't put them on ourselves.) Once every eight years I bray. The other donkeys bray too often: if you don't have anything new to say, I can't see the point.
Rubí Donkey writes her Rubí Tuesday blog. Here at El Parral we like to think of ourselves as being at the cutting edge. Indeed, while cutting ear-holes in newspapers to make our Halloween costumes last week, our Peasant cut his finger with a craft knife. It was the kind of personal sacrifice for … More Low-speed Internet arrives at El Parral
Rubí Donkey writes her Rubí Tuesday blog. Morris donkey has been reading again. Sometimes it is good that Morris does reading because he tells me clever things to write on my portant blog and I improve my reputation as a world-class interweb source of intelligent debate. And I’m only ten which Morris says … More Asinine culture wars
Rubí Donkey writes her Rubí Tuesday blog. Autumn te tum te tum, Hooray! bray bray! It’s a bark bray day, Bark bray bark, ho hum. The Rubí Autumn Song: copyright Mrs Rubí Barker-Bray (2019) The Peasant has worked hard through the summer to brush away the last of our thick winter coats. They … More Autumn te tum te tum, hooray! bray bray!
Rubí Donkey writes her Rubí Tuesday blog. Our Peasant has put a nice cooling fan in our stable. When he forgets to turn it on we have to go outside and bray at him. He is a bit slow to understand what the problem is. That’s a recognized trait in peasants. As long … More Of silly horses and unicorns
Rubí Donkey writes her Rubí Tuesday blog. Our Peasant is having a bad day. He spent a short time looking at his computer this morning then a long time swearing while sweeping up donkey manure before putting the shopping bags in the long-suffering Hyundai and swearing his way down the road to go … More The quality of straw
Rubí Donkey writes her Rubí Tuesday blog. Morris has been engrossed in the newspaper again. I should remind infrequent readers of my blog that Morris does the reading and I do the writting. Neither of us can do the other thing. While we were eating our evening straw, I asked him what he … More A burra explains the backstop
Rubí Donkey writes her Rubí Tuesday blog. So I will expalin about the drama of burra Matilde and the badnage. First I will expalin why we have to start any expalination with “So…” Morris donkey, who is one of the last listeners to BBC Radio 4’s Today programme, tells me that any expalination of … More The Burra and the Badnage
We have become used to Matilde’s plaintive mooing sound when she expects food. The cow noises directed at the Peasant seem to say, “Feed me now or I am going to fall over in a faint.” Moo.. oooh.. moooo… The Peasant is never impressed with such Matilde blackmail, and usually laughs as soon as she … More La burra avacada
Rubí Donkey writes her Rubí Tuesday blog. Did you ever wonder why donkeys bray? I certainly did. Whenever I looked at Matilde, Morris and Aitana braying, it seemed to me quite a ridiculous noise, unlike my purposeful aggressive snort which serves to protect the herd from any wild boar, squirrels or possibly lions. … More Bray barking for beginners, a reflection
Rubí Donkey writes her Rubí Tuesday blog. The Peasant flew off to London, weekend before last. Carl came to feed us. That nice police inspector from the Benidorm Policia Local came to collect manure on the Sunday morning, so we had some company for a while. But the absence of our Peasant meant a … More Our Peasant is revolting
